From Stress to Strength: What a Therapist in Fairfax, VA Actually Does to Help You Thrive

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You’ve heard that therapy can help weary, over-functioning women like you to reclaim yourself and build a more meaningful, more authentic life. But how? If you’ve ever wondered what working with a therapist might actually look like, you’re in the right place. In this article, we will explore what your therapist might actually do to help. If you are still wondering whether therapy is right for you, check out my previous post, From Stress to Strength: Transformations with a Therapist in Fairfax, VA.

What a Therapist in Fairfax, VA Does Day-to-Day

Intake and Assessment:

Your first session with a new therapist (AKA, the ‘intake’) is likely to be a bit different from subsequent sessions. Your therapist will likely ask you a bunch of questions to get a sense of your concerns, your history, your support system and important relationship patterns, and your goals. They may even give you some questionnaires to complete to get a better sense of how you are doing. This process is designed to identify key stressors, assess levels of functioning and burnout, and map out relationship patterns.

Ongoing Sessions:

Therapy after the first appointment will look different depending on the modality, but should always include some aspects of the following:

• Collaborative goal-setting: this will involve co-creating short- and long-term therapy goals customized to your specific needs.

• Skill-building: depending on the modality, this may include overtly teaching things like boundary-setting skills, assertive communication, or even how to notice when you are centering others’ needs or managing others’ emotions. Alternatively, you may learn experientially in session how to build self-trust or self-compassion, or how to connect with your inner knowing.

• Treatment planning and coordination: your therapist may refer you to other providers (e.g., psychiatrists, therapy groups) as an adjunct to your work. They may also have ideas about community resources that can support you in meeting your goals.

  
  

Evidence-Based Approaches Used to Build Strength

Behavioral Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) focus on helping you change your behaviors in order to change your experience of your life. The goal of CBT is to identify core beliefs or unhelpful thoughts that may drive your behavior and replace these thoughts or beliefs with more helpful alternatives.

Values-Based Therapies like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) aim to help you to change your relationship to your behavioral patterns. ACT focuses on mindful self-compassion, the positive impact of living according to your values, and taking a ‘curious observer’ stance to our thoughts and feelings in order to gain psychological space from your assumptions. DBT is based on the idea that the ‘middle path’ between extremes is usually the one that leads to the most peace. DBT includes skills modules on mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal relationship skills

Relational Therapies are based on the idea that our unhealthy relationship patterns are the cause of much of our suffering. Relational therapists believe that we learn our relational patterns in childhood, and that we develop these patterns to survive in often less-than-ideal circumstances. Relational therapies use the relationship between therapist and client to create “corrective emotional experiences” in which clients learn by experience that different ways of interacting may yield more positive or productive outcomes now that they are no longer in those circumstances. This can be especially helpful for women who struggle with relational patterns like managing others’ emotions or reactions and who have difficulty centering their needs or setting boundaries.

Experiential Therapies like Internal Family Systems (IFS) use the lived experience of the client in the room to process painful experiences or challenge long-used patterns. IFS is based on the idea that we all have many parts of ourselves that have learned to react in different ways to our experiences. Some of these parts carry old wounds, and some try to protect us from being hurt again. By getting to know all these different aspects of ourselves, we can begin to heal these old wounds and increase self-compassion and self-trust. IFS is extremely helpful for overwhelmed women who feel like they have lost themselves in their quest to take care of others.

Practical Outcomes Clients Can Expect

While most therapies don’t lead to immediate change, over time, if you put in the work, you will start to notice more ease in your life. Clients report less exhaustion and emotional reactivity, more energy and purpose, a clearer sense of needs and priorities, healthier, more reciprocal relationships, less resentment, and increased confidence in decision-making and self-trust.

Choosing the Right Therapist in Fairfax, VA for You

Research has repeatedly shown that the most important predictor of therapy outcomes is the connection between the therapist and client. So, it is really important to prioritize finding the right fit for you.

You will want to look for a therapist who specializes in supporting overwhelmed, over-functioning women.

Check credentials and licensure (licensed psychologists, LMFTs, LPCs, and LICSWs are all good options) and make sure the way they practice or the modality they use feels like a good fit for you.

Look at the logistics (location, virtual and in-person offerings, fees, and scheduling) and make sure those seem like a match.

Finally, most therapists offer a free consultation call – take them up on this! Make sure that when you speak to them, you feel heard, respected, and connected.

If you are a woman who feels exhausted from the weight of a life that you always thought would be more vibrant, more meaningful, and more joyful than the one you are living, a therapist in Fairfax, VA can help. Reach out today to learn how to set healthy boundaries, take responsibility for only what is yours to carry (spoiler alert: it isn’t other’s emotions!), and build self-compassion and self-trust.

Rachel W. Friendly, PhD, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Therapist in Fairfax, VA — I help women weary from prioritizing everyone else learn to set boundaries, cultivate self-compassion, and build self-trust. I offer evidence-based, collaborative therapy in-person and via telehealth. Interested in starting? Learn more about my services and book a consultation today.