Finding a Therapist in Fairfax, VA: 10 Questions to Ask When Choosing a Therapist (A Guide to the Consultation Call)

rfriendly
May 15
5 min read

Why the Consultation Call Matters

Searching for a therapist can be a stressful, confusing process – but it doesn’t have to be! Most therapists offer a brief, free consultation call before scheduling a paid session. Taking advantage of these calls with your top few options will give you the answers you need to make an informed decision. It is a low-pressure way to take the guesswork out of the process, while protecting your time and energy.

Let’s face it: if you are an over-functioning adult woman who struggles to prioritize yourself, then you are already overwhelmed with what you do for everyone else. Use this guide for an efficient, targeted screening process that will help you to get clear, quick answers about who is the best therapist in Fairfax, VA for you!

If you are still on the fence about whether therapy is for you, check out my previous post, Finding a Therapist in Fairfax, VA: 5 Surprising Ways Therapy Can Improve Your Life. Then read on below for 10 questions to ask before starting therapy.

Preparation: Before You Call

Before you start your consultation calls, it is helpful to have some clarity on what you are looking for.

- Start by identifying your top goals for therapy (e.g., learning to set healthy boundaries, reducing exhaustion and overwhelm, increasing self-compassion).

- Think about logistics that are important to you, like session times, treatment modality, telehealth versus in-person, or any concerns around fees. Most of these questions should be easily answerable on therapists’ websites, so be sure to check ahead of time so that you don’t waste your time and energy on therapists who do not meet your needs.

- Keep a simple decision log with space for therapists’ names, answers to your questions, impressions, and next steps.

- Most calls will be about 15-20 minutes, so plan to keep things brief to conserve energy and reduce decision fatigue. Remember, you do not need to tell each therapist your whole story prior to starting therapy.

The Consultation Call

Questions About Therapist Background and Clinical Approach

1. What is your training and licensure?

Why it matters: Therapists must legally be licensed in the state in which you are located at the time of sessions to be able to work with you.

2. Do you specialize in working with overwhelmed, over-functioning women?

Why it matters: experience with your population increases the likelihood that interventions will be relevant and effective. It also makes it more likely that the therapist will be compassionate and empathic with your situation. After all, it is always more pleasant to work with someone who is passionate about working with you, not just looking for another client.

3. What modalities of therapy do you use, and how do they work? Why do you like these modalities for this kind of work?

Why it matters: A good therapist should be able to explain how they approach their work, why they approach it that way, and why they think it will work for you.

4. What are your expectations between sessions? Do you assign homework?

Why it matters: In a typical therapy relationship, you may spend 45 minutes a week in session. If you only work on your goals during that time, you are unlikely to reap the benefits. That said, some therapists assign specific homework between sessions, some encourage progress and act as accountability partners, and some leave it to you to decide what you need between sessions.

Questions About Logistics, Accessibility, and Safety

5. Double check policies from the website, including:

· Telehealth, in-person, or hybrid session format?

· Fees, insurance, or out-of-network reimbursement documentation?

· Cancellation policy?

· Typical session length?

Why it matters: Not all therapists keep their websites updated, so it’s important to double check that your understanding of these policies is accurate before scheduling.

6. How often would we meet?

Why it matters: Some therapists meet weekly with everyone, whereas some are more flexible with session frequency. Some therapists may not have availability for weekly sessions. It is important to ensure that your expectations are addressed up front so that you can make a choice that works for you. Note: if a therapist offers you less than every-other-week sessions, you are unlikely to see improvement.

7. What happens if I have a crisis or need support after hours?

Why it matters: No one plans to have a crisis, but they do happen, and many private practices are not equipped to provide crisis coverage or after-hours care. It can be useful to know what to expect from your therapist if something goes wrong.

Questions About Fit, Style, and Therapeutic Relationship

8. How would you describe your style with clients?

Why it matters: Research has repeatedly shown that the biggest determinant of improvement is the strength of the therapeutic relationship. Finding a therapist whose style works for you is key to getting your needs met in session, and ultimately, making changes in your life. Look for a collaborative tone, warmth, and respect for your goals and agency.

9. How do you handle feedback or disagreements?

Why it matters: Therapists should be open to feedback from clients at any point in the therapy process. But some therapists also set aside specific times to reflect and recalibrate, which can be helpful in ensuring progress stays on track. In either case, it is important that you feel comfortable providing feedback or letting the therapist know if something is wrong. Pay attention to how you feel during the call, as this may provide insight into how it would be to work with this therapist.

Questions About Goals and Progress Measurement

10. How do you set goals and measure progress?

Why it matters: Therapists differ in how explicitly they set goals and measure outcomes. Brief, highly structured, and skill-based treatments may offer more explicit measurement of goals and progress. Some modalities yield results rather quickly (6-8 sessions), and some are naturally slower paced. Either way, your therapist should be keeping an eye on your goals and noting whether progress is being made throughout. Making sure your expectations for the therapy process are accurate from the beginning will lead to you being more satisfied with the experience overall.

Evaluating Responses and Next Steps

Once you have completed a consultation call with all your top choices, it’s time to decide. It can be helpful to make a quick checklist for yourself to see how the therapists you are considering stack up.

Consider rating each therapist on items such as:

- I felt heard

- They had a clear answer on logistics and policies, and these all work for me

- They seem to have a collaborative approach

- I felt a good connection

If something felt “off” in the conversation, don’t worry, this is common and just means this person was not the right fit for you. They will not be offended! Reach out to politely let them know you do not want to schedule with them and, if needed, request referrals to other therapists.

Remember, you need to feel good about the relationship, but no one is perfect, so don’t let the decision consume you. Sometimes, it may be worth scheduling an initial appointment to see whether the fit is there or not.

Finding a good therapist in Fairfax, VA does not have to be an all-consuming process. A focused consultation call using these 10 questions can save you time and energy while increasing the chances of a productive fit.

Rachel W. Friendly, PhD — Clinical Psychologist and Therapist in Fairfax, VA. I specialize in helping overwhelmed, over-functioning adult women who struggle to center their needs, set boundaries, and build self-compassion. I offer affirming, evidence based individual therapy tailored to your needs.

If you’d like a confidential consultation or help using these questions during your search, learn more about my approach or schedule a free consultation call today.